Season’s Greetings
(No, I’m not really that bitter. Merry Christmas Eve.)
May all of YOUR Christmas wishes come true.
Meme?
So I’ve been tagged for a meme. Thanks to Paige for tagging me, and subsequently explaining in detail what exactly it meant and what I had to do. Again, my apologies for being stupid about this stuff. I’m basically a blog virgin; that’s my excuse.
So, anyway, onto “the rules” (which I plan on breaking — more on that later).
The Rules:
- Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
- Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
- Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
So, 7 random and/or weird facts. Here we go:
1.) I have a great love for all things Eastern European. Partly because of my Polish heritage, and partly because of my travel experiences in Eastern Europe which I hold near and dear to my heart.
2.) I tend to tear up fairly easily. Not just when I’m sad — no, when I’m happy, mad, excited, emotional, frustrated, or laughing. I think it’s hereditary — all of the women (and some of the men) in my family are the same way.
3.) Possibly nothing makes me happier than seeing a good musical. Generally the cheesier the better. And yes this does include musical films intended for tweens. I know this is very dorky.
4.) I am and always have been a dog lover but just recently have started to come around to liking (some) cats thanks to getting to know the furry felines of friends of mine (such as this cutie here.)
5.) Possibly my biggest bad habit is procrastination. I get majorly stressed out when trying desperately to finish something when the deadline is approaching, yet it doesn’t seem to keep me from procrastinating again and again.
6.) I love the night. I don’t know why but often times it is more appealing to stay up all night than it is to sleep. There is something about a night time vibe that nothing during the day can replicate. I can also get by on ridiculously little sleep, short term at least.
7.) I’m 31 years old and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
Now for the rule breaking. The only people I know with blogs are those of you who have kindly commented on mine (some of you whom I know, and some who I only know through your words. And those of you whom I know have already been tagged for this meme.) So here are the new rules: If you are reading this, you have been tagged. If you have a blog, go ahead and link it in the comments section of this post. If you don’t blog, feel free to post your list right in the comments section. Frankly the idea of all of us sharing 7 strange/random/wonderful/weird facts about ourselves gives me the warm fuzzies. (And yes I will now sign off before I start humming “It’s A Small World After All.”)
Pity Party for One
I received news late last night that a childhood friend delivered a baby girl. Mother and child are healthy. This was especially wonderful news because she’d had an extremely difficult pregnancy and ended up having her labor induced out of concern for the life of the baby. This is a girl with whom I grew up, whose mother has been best friends with my mother since they were 12 years old. I am truly happy for their entire family.
But forgive me for feeling a little bitter.
I’m beginning to feel like everywhere I look family and friends my age (and younger!) are having children. Expanding their families. Living the dream. The dream I desperately wanted.
And I blew it.
Logically I know it’s not all my fault. And that the only thing worse than going through this divorce would be going through this divorce after having had a child by this man, which would mean being tied to him forever (or at least 18 years).
But I see my parents excitedly congratulate their family members and friends as they become grandparents. It’s happening more and more often. And now it will never be their turn to receive these congratulations in return.
So I not only blew it for me, I blew it for them.
If I ever had a son, I wanted to name him after my father. It was a secret I kept to myself (along with my former husband) because I wanted to be able to surprise my dad if the day were to ever come. If I ever had a daughter I wanted to name her after my great-grandmother – a feisty redhead who immigrated to America in the early 1900s, never really learned to speak English very well, yet managed to successfully take very good care of herself and her family, even fighting off a mugger when she was in her 70s.
Those imagined children are now fading into the mist. Just like the rest of my dreams.
I know, I know, it’s time to focus on new dreams. Unfortunately biology is a bit unfair in that women don’t have forever to have children. Yes, adoption is an option, even for single parents (an option I will seriously consider when I’m nearing 40 with no partner in sight.) Still, call me selfish, call me self-centered, call me petty and mean and anything else under the sun (I deserve it). As heartfelt as my congratulations are to parents everywhere (and they really are) I can’t help feeling the sting of losing what I never had.
Fabulous Weekend
I had so much fun this weekend. Never underestimate the healing powers of good friends. I don’t think there can be anything better than being able to laugh, cry, and have random adventures with truly wonderful people who really do care. I felt loved. Very loved.
Unfortunately every weekend has to end, and I had to face reality once again. But I faced it feeling stronger. More hopeful. I will be able to get through this. As painful as it is (and I recognize that the pain will get worse before it begins to truly get better), I know that in the end my life is bound to be better because of it.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
3 things I can be happy about today
1.) My good friend from college is coming down to spend the weekend with me. Shamefully, I haven’t seen her since my wedding even though she only lives about 2 1/2 hours away. She’s been very helpful through all of this, having gone through a divorce herself when she was quite young. She also still remembers me as the “cool chick”. I haven’t felt like a cool chick in a long time. I’m hoping she’ll help me find that inner cool chick again.
2.) We’re going out tonight — two single girls out on the town. Going to see a cover band, and plan on dancing up a storm, and singing along with the lyrics (possibly off-key, depending on the number of drinks we consume.) I can’t wait.
3.) My skinny jeans fit me again today! (Ok, technically they are not “skinny” jeans, but jeans that make me feel skinny. Or rather skinnier. At the very least they make my bum look good!) I tried them on two weeks ago and couldn’t even button them. There is some good coming out of this “divorce diet”. (Not that I’d recommend the divorce part, but the eating only for fuel and exercising to deal with stress is beneficial.)
